Thursday, September 12, 2013
Friday, August 30, 2013
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Father Of One Of My Kids
"Hellow Minesh? Sir, I want To Meet & Talk To You.
You Are The Father Of One Of My Kids."
Stunned and shocked Man screamed:
"Oh my God! I am married and so careful with modern prevention tactics and
how could this happen to you? You can ruin me"
Are you Soni?
Lady replied, "No."
Then Pramila?
No, No.
Mita?
No, No, No
Rupali?
No, No, No, No.
Sunita?
No, No, No, No, No.
Kamali?
No...........................................................oo.
Lady in confusion scolded Minesh:
"Sir, I am The Class Teacher Of Your Son."
You Are The Father Of One Of My Kids."
Stunned and shocked Man screamed:
"Oh my God! I am married and so careful with modern prevention tactics and
how could this happen to you? You can ruin me"
Are you Soni?
Lady replied, "No."
Then Pramila?
No, No.
Mita?
No, No, No
Rupali?
No, No, No, No.
Sunita?
No, No, No, No, No.
Kamali?
No...........................................................oo.
Lady in confusion scolded Minesh:
"Sir, I am The Class Teacher Of Your Son."
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Parrot
Once a man went to buy a parrot.....
Man: These parrots seem nice, but show me the best and healthy ones....
Shopkeeper: Sure sir, I have three best parrots.....
Soon the shopkeeper brought those 3 parrots.....
Man: How much each of them costs...??
Shopkeeper: The 1st parrot costs 1000$, 2nd parrot costs 2000$ and the 3rd parrot costs 5000$.
Man: Thats intersting, but why so expensive....??
Shopkeeper: The 1st parrot can speak many languages and even knows about Windows XP.....
Man: Wow...What about the second parrot...??
Shopkeeper: Well he also knows many languages, plus he knows some things about Windows XP and Linux Operating System....
Man: Thats amazing....What about the 3rd one...Why he costs $5000....?? Which languages he knows...??
Shopkeeper: Well, frankly speaking, he just fires bad words and doesn't know anything, but the other two parrots call him"BOSS......!!"
Man: These parrots seem nice, but show me the best and healthy ones....
Shopkeeper: Sure sir, I have three best parrots.....
Soon the shopkeeper brought those 3 parrots.....
Man: How much each of them costs...??
Shopkeeper: The 1st parrot costs 1000$, 2nd parrot costs 2000$ and the 3rd parrot costs 5000$.
Man: Thats intersting, but why so expensive....??
Shopkeeper: The 1st parrot can speak many languages and even knows about Windows XP.....
Man: Wow...What about the second parrot...??
Shopkeeper: Well he also knows many languages, plus he knows some things about Windows XP and Linux Operating System....
Man: Thats amazing....What about the 3rd one...Why he costs $5000....?? Which languages he knows...??
Shopkeeper: Well, frankly speaking, he just fires bad words and doesn't know anything, but the other two parrots call him"BOSS......!!"
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Boady Spry
Lady Doctor to kid : take deep breath and feel something.
Kid : Ok
Lady Doctor : What u feel ??
Kid : Your body spray is amazing..
Kid : Ok
Lady Doctor : What u feel ??
Kid : Your body spray is amazing..
Fear
I feel so sorry 4 my neighbour,
As he un-bottons his shirt this
morning, a button fell off!
He pickd his briefcase, the handle
came off!
He wantd to open his house door,
the door-knob fell off!
He wantd to get into his car, the
door-handle came off in his hand!
And now he's afraid to urinate!!
As he un-bottons his shirt this
morning, a button fell off!
He pickd his briefcase, the handle
came off!
He wantd to open his house door,
the door-knob fell off!
He wantd to get into his car, the
door-handle came off in his hand!
And now he's afraid to urinate!!
School Days are Over !
OKON: I saw a strap of your bra.
TEACHER: Okon Get out! No class for you for a
week!
[Another Boy laughs]
TEACHER: Why did you laugh?
BOY: I saw both straps of d bra.
TEACHER: Get out! No class for you for 1 month!
[Teacher bends down to pick chalk & Akpos
started walking
out]
TEACHER: Akpos, why are you going out?
AKPOS: What I saw just now, I think my school
days are over!
TEACHER: Okon Get out! No class for you for a
week!
[Another Boy laughs]
TEACHER: Why did you laugh?
BOY: I saw both straps of d bra.
TEACHER: Get out! No class for you for 1 month!
[Teacher bends down to pick chalk & Akpos
started walking
out]
TEACHER: Akpos, why are you going out?
AKPOS: What I saw just now, I think my school
days are over!
Unknown Numbe
Jane: is called by an Unknown number. UNKNOWN No: Hi, do you have a boyfriend?
Jane: Yeah.
UNKNOWN No: So you have a boyfriend. Am your dad.Am coming so that you tell me when you grew horns!!! Nkt! 5minutes later, another Unknown caller.
UNKNOWN No:Hi, do you have a boyfriend?
Jane: No.
UNKNOWN No: I see you don't love me. Am your boyfriend.
Jane: Oh Sweet heart, I love you. I thought it was my stupid Dad.
UNKNOWN No: It's not your boyfriend. It's still your dad, just wanted to confirm u really have one.... Wait for me! I'm on my way!!!
Jane: Yeah.
UNKNOWN No: So you have a boyfriend. Am your dad.Am coming so that you tell me when you grew horns!!! Nkt! 5minutes later, another Unknown caller.
UNKNOWN No:Hi, do you have a boyfriend?
Jane: No.
UNKNOWN No: I see you don't love me. Am your boyfriend.
Jane: Oh Sweet heart, I love you. I thought it was my stupid Dad.
UNKNOWN No: It's not your boyfriend. It's still your dad, just wanted to confirm u really have one.... Wait for me! I'm on my way!!!
Never Ask
Never ask a lady about her age!
Never ask a man about his salary!
And now-a-days ....
Never ask a student about his percentage ....
.
Because it hurts !!!!
Never ask a man about his salary!
And now-a-days ....
Never ask a student about his percentage ....
.
Because it hurts !!!!
Thursday, January 17, 2013
What Boys want to say?
A Boy was driving a car.
.
A girl on scooty overtook him.
.
Boy shouted, "Hey Buffalo"
.
Girl turned back n shouted.."you donkey, idiot, stupid monkey"
.
Suddenly she had an accident She was hit by a buffalo crossing d road..
.
.
MORAL: "Girls never understand what a boy wants 2 say";).
.
A girl on scooty overtook him.
.
Boy shouted, "Hey Buffalo"
.
Girl turned back n shouted.."you donkey, idiot, stupid monkey"
.
Suddenly she had an accident She was hit by a buffalo crossing d road..
.
.
MORAL: "Girls never understand what a boy wants 2 say";).
How many Cats
Akpor took the 1st position in his class..consequently the principal of the school decided to offer him a promotion & he had to under go some oral test.
PRINCIPAL : Akpor, If I give you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2 cats, how many cats will you have ?
AKPOR : Seven, Sir.
...
PRINCIPAL : Let me put it to you differently. If I give you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2 apples, how many will you have ?
AKPOR : Six.
PRINCIPAL : Good. Now if I give you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2 cats, how many cats will you have ?
AKPOR : Seven!!!
PRINCIPAL : (Angrilly) Where did you get ur seven from ?
AKPOR : Yes! My Papa sama me one cat yesterday...plus the Six cats....u won give me.....soe go be SEVEN CATS na....
PRINCIPAL : What ?....U must repeat this class..
Click LIKE if you get it.
PRINCIPAL : Akpor, If I give you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2 cats, how many cats will you have ?
AKPOR : Seven, Sir.
...
PRINCIPAL : Let me put it to you differently. If I give you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2 apples, how many will you have ?
AKPOR : Six.
PRINCIPAL : Good. Now if I give you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2 cats, how many cats will you have ?
AKPOR : Seven!!!
PRINCIPAL : (Angrilly) Where did you get ur seven from ?
AKPOR : Yes! My Papa sama me one cat yesterday...plus the Six cats....u won give me.....soe go be SEVEN CATS na....
PRINCIPAL : What ?....U must repeat this class..
Click LIKE if you get it.
Better one.
2 men went to have sex with
one girl.
1st came out after a few
minutes of having sex and
said…
"My wife is better"
2nd went in after a while he
also came
out n said… You were right,
your wife is
better..
one girl.
1st came out after a few
minutes of having sex and
said…
"My wife is better"
2nd went in after a while he
also came
out n said… You were right,
your wife is
better..
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Pain Transfer
A married couple went to the
hospital to have their baby
delivered.
Upon their arrival, the doctor
said he had invented a new
...
hospital to have their baby
delivered.
Upon their arrival, the doctor
said he had invented a new
...
machine that would transfer a
portion of the mothers pain to
the baby's father. He asked if
they we're willing to try it out,
they both very much in favor of
it.
The doctor set the pain transfer
to 10% for starters, explaining
that even 10% was probably
more pain the father had never
exprienced before. However, as
the labor progressed, the
husband felt fine and asked the
doctor to go ahead and "kick it up
notch".
The doctor then adjusted the
machine to 20% pain transfer.
The husband still feeling fine.
The doctor checked the
husband's blood pressure aand
was amazed at how well he was
doing at this point, they decided
to try for 50%.
The husband continued to feel
quite well.
Since the pain transfer was
obviously helping out the wife
considerably, the husband
encouraged the doctor to
transfer ALL the pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy
baby boy with virtually no pain.
She and her husband were
ecstatic. When they got home,
the gate man was dead with pain
portion of the mothers pain to
the baby's father. He asked if
they we're willing to try it out,
they both very much in favor of
it.
The doctor set the pain transfer
to 10% for starters, explaining
that even 10% was probably
more pain the father had never
exprienced before. However, as
the labor progressed, the
husband felt fine and asked the
doctor to go ahead and "kick it up
notch".
The doctor then adjusted the
machine to 20% pain transfer.
The husband still feeling fine.
The doctor checked the
husband's blood pressure aand
was amazed at how well he was
doing at this point, they decided
to try for 50%.
The husband continued to feel
quite well.
Since the pain transfer was
obviously helping out the wife
considerably, the husband
encouraged the doctor to
transfer ALL the pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy
baby boy with virtually no pain.
She and her husband were
ecstatic. When they got home,
the gate man was dead with pain
Secret Service
A friend was in front of me
coming out of church one day,
and the preacher was standing at
the door as he always is to shake
hands. He grabbed my friend by
the hand and pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him, "You
need to join the Army of the
Lord!"
My friend replied, "I'm already in
... the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
Pastor questioned, "How come I
don't see you except at
Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the
secret service."
coming out of church one day,
and the preacher was standing at
the door as he always is to shake
hands. He grabbed my friend by
the hand and pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him, "You
need to join the Army of the
Lord!"
My friend replied, "I'm already in
... the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
Pastor questioned, "How come I
don't see you except at
Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the
secret service."
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Height of Job Satisfaction
A boy got a job in a girls hostel.
After 2 months Owner asked:
... Why didn't u come to take ur salary?
Boy: oh my god, I get Salary for this
After 2 months Owner asked:
... Why didn't u come to take ur salary?
Boy: oh my god, I get Salary for this
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