Boady Spry

Lady Doctor to kid : take deep breath and feel something.

Kid : Ok

Lady Doctor : What u feel ??

Kid : Your body spray is amazing..

Fear

I feel so sorry 4 my neighbour,
As he un-bottons his shirt this
morning, a button fell off!
He pickd his briefcase, the handle
came off!
He wantd to open his house door,
the door-knob fell off!
He wantd to get into his car, the
door-handle came off in his hand!
And now he's afraid to urinate!!

School Days are Over !

OKON: I saw a strap of your bra.
TEACHER: Okon Get out! No class for you for a
week!
[Another Boy laughs]
TEACHER: Why did you laugh?
BOY: I saw both straps of d bra.
TEACHER: Get out! No class for you for 1 month!
[Teacher bends down to pick chalk & Akpos
started walking
out]
TEACHER: Akpos, why are you going out?
AKPOS: What I saw just now, I think my school
days are over!

Unknown Numbe

Jane: is called by an Unknown number. UNKNOWN No: Hi, do you have a boyfriend?
Jane: Yeah.
UNKNOWN No: So you have a boyfriend. Am your dad.Am coming so that you tell me when you grew horns!!! Nkt! 5minutes later, another Unknown caller.
UNKNOWN No:Hi, do you have a boyfriend?
Jane: No.
UNKNOWN No: I see you don't love me. Am your boyfriend.
Jane: Oh Sweet heart, I love you. I thought it was my stupid Dad.
UNKNOWN No: It's not your boyfriend. It's still your dad, just wanted to confirm u really have one.... Wait for me! I'm on my way!!!

Never Ask

Never ask a lady about her age!
Never ask a man about his salary!
And now-a-days ....
Never ask a student about his percentage ....
.
Because it hurts !!!!

What Boys want to say?

A Boy was driving a car.
.
A girl on scooty overtook him.
.
Boy shouted, "Hey Buffalo"
.
Girl turned back n shouted.."you donkey, idiot, stupid monkey"
.
Suddenly she had an accident She was hit by a buffalo crossing d road..
.
.
MORAL: "Girls never understand what a boy wants 2 say";).

How many Cats

 

Akpor took the 1st position in his class..consequently the principal of the school decided to offer him a promotion & he had to under go some oral test.

PRINCIPAL : Akpor, If I give you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2 cats, how many cats will you have ?

AKPOR : Seven, Sir.
...
PRINCIPAL : Let me put it to you differently. If I give you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2 apples, how many will you have ?

AKPOR : Six.

PRINCIPAL : Good. Now if I give you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2 cats, how many cats will you have ?

AKPOR : Seven!!!

PRINCIPAL : (Angrilly) Where did you get ur seven from ?

AKPOR : Yes! My Papa sama me one cat yesterday...plus the Six cats....u won give me.....soe go be SEVEN CATS na....

PRINCIPAL : What ?....U must repeat this class..

Click LIKE if you get it.

Better one.

2 men went to have sex with
one girl.
1st came out after a few
minutes of having sex and
said…
"My wife is better"
2nd went in after a while he
also came
out n said… You were right,
your wife is
better..

Pain Transfer

 

A married couple went to the
hospital to have their baby
delivered.
Upon their arrival, the doctor
said he had invented a new
...

machine that would transfer a
portion of the mothers pain to
the baby's father. He asked if
they we're willing to try it out,
they both very much in favor of
it.
The doctor set the pain transfer
to 10% for starters, explaining
that even 10% was probably
more pain the father had never
exprienced before. However, as
the labor progressed, the
husband felt fine and asked the
doctor to go ahead and "kick it up
notch".
The doctor then adjusted the
machine to 20% pain transfer.
The husband still feeling fine.
The doctor checked the
husband's blood pressure aand
was amazed at how well he was
doing at this point, they decided
to try for 50%.
The husband continued to feel
quite well.
Since the pain transfer was
obviously helping out the wife
considerably, the husband
encouraged the doctor to
transfer ALL the pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy
baby boy with virtually no pain.
She and her husband were
ecstatic. When they got home,
the gate man was dead with pain

Secret Service

A friend was in front of me
coming out of church one day,
and the preacher was standing at
the door as he always is to shake
hands. He grabbed my friend by
the hand and pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him, "You
need to join the Army of the
Lord!"
My friend replied, "I'm already in
... the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
Pastor questioned, "How come I
don't see you except at
Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the
secret service."

Week Days

Who are you?

Height of Job Satisfaction

A boy got a job in a girls hostel.

After 2 months Owner asked:
... Why didn't u come to take ur salary?

Boy: oh my god, I get  Salary for this

Escape